Mom's have you ever sat back and actually listened to your kids conversations? Watched their actions? Then thought to yourself "I could make money off of telling people about my kids and their behaviors!" I have a son who is now six and a daughter who is now five and nothing they say or do shocks me any more! When they were babies and I was crying because I could not get any sleep and my mom told me it would get better -_-........well she was not right I now think she was playing a mean joke on me. Here is one example!
We went to my husbands shop picnic last summer to a water park fun right! Yes, it was a lot of fun! Till the next day..... I came down stairs at 7 am thinking my kids would still be in bed for we did not get home till midnight and in bed by one am..... I walk into my kitchen and step in about an inch of water....my kids are naked! Buck skin naked! my daughter who was 4 at the time is on the sink with the water on and the sink sprayer spraying water on the floor and my son....there are bubbles everywhere from the dish soap. My first question is "why are you naked!" My son says "because we could not slip and slide in our clothes mommy." My bad for asking. My next question "what were you thinking???" My daughter says "its a water park mommy." I told them to go get dressed and get cleaned up while I spent the next hour soaking up the water on my floor! Two days later the same thing!!!! I am not joking! Except this time they had enough sense to put their swim suits on..... Needless to say they cleaned up the mess this time and never did it again.
Example two:
Conversation with my son about valentines day....... (daddies little him).
ME: Brad you need to make out your cards for your class party.
Brad: Okay mom but there is a problem...
Me: What?
Brad: I have a girlfriend...and it would not be nice to give other girls cards too. (okay props for the right thinking but he is 6...)
Me: Oh yeah whats her name. (My first mistake).
Brad: Well there are two.
Me: Why two? ( my second mistake)
Brad: Because mom they are twin sisters and I could not choose because they both look the same. (That is something his father would have said)
Me: Ah that is nice honey.... (he interrupts me....)
Brad: Okay I lied there is another girl too but I am not sure about her because she is in kindergarten and she is younger than me but the other two for sure. ( I wanted to die laughing because that is so typical right!?)
We all know our kids say the most blunt things ever! But when they throw swear words in there it is like do I laugh and then yell or try to hide my laughter and yell or run and get the laughter out before I tell them its not nice words....And it is hard to keep them from learning these words when they ride the same bus as high school students yeah yeah i know i have told the school many times to no end that it is not appropriate but I am just a mom that pays taxes -_-.
Example three.....Cover your eyes if you are easily offended....
My daughter Rose got mad at her brother because he would not play pool with her he wanted to go to the tire swing... She storms out of the garage after him slams the door and puts her hands on her hips and yells "Shut the f*****g door Brad!" Then storms off towards the house her fists at her sides and mumbles that he is a bastard.....
You would think my daughter is 5 going on 15. I fear the day she becomes a teenager! I told my husband I was getting three jobs just so he could be a stay at home dad at that time! She is perfect for everyone. She is ahead of her class and learning stuff she should be learning next year! They use her as a role model in class for the others when they miss behave..... when I get home from work daddy says how well she behaved after getting home from school....He leaves for work and I swear she smiles at me out of the corner of her eye and flips her humanity switch like on vampire diaries! The other day I stepped out side so I could talk to my mom while the kids were eating dinner. Not even two minutes into the conversation I hear loud laughing....which is never a good sign....I walk in and there is spaghetti on the walls, ceiling, china closet and the dog. My son is running around trying to get away from his sister who has a hand full of food.
But she leaves my house and I get phone calls about how well of a job I am doing because she is so well behaved! Are we talking about the same child here?! Because all I see is the monster that attacks! My son is a different story he is more laid back and emotional. He is a lot like me where my daughter is her father as far as acting like a boob goes LOL. I love my kids to death I really do but I miss the babies! I miss when I could cuddle them with out a foot to the face or the nights when I could rock them instead of having my daughter climb into my bed now and fall asleep pee then wake up mad at me yelling at me saying I peed on her! Being a mom is scary as hell! But I would do it all over again in a heart beat....I would just make sure I had a zoo ranglor on speed dial first!
Jax!
